I’m writing this mostly for selfish reasons. Let’s just say there’s a big decision being made in the next few days that will determine the next step I take for my future.
Yeah… it’s as scary as it sounds.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to tell my brain not to be too hopeful, and not to invest too much in this… when I know it’s something I want so badly. I’ve been trying to turn my heart off, and keep as quiet about it as I can, so that if it doesn’t work out I’m not too hurt or disappointed. But finally, the other day I felt like that mindset was just holding me back in the end. Being cautious of what the outcome for this is going to be wasn’t helping me. It was actually discouraging me more.
I think we’ve all had times where we’ve invested so much into something; something that is good, something that feels right, and makes you happy. Only to have that dream or desire be ripped right from our hearts. And all of a sudden we’re supposed to just go on with life the way things were before, right?
That attitude just doesn’t feel right to me.
What if holding ourselves back from the things we want most is only discouraging us from reaching our greatest potential in the long run? What if we risk the opportunity to make something out of ourselves simply because it was too scary to allow ourselves to be vulnerable? I think there’s something we’re missing here.
Life wasn’t meant to be lived cautiously. Sure, there are some things in life that we should stay away from because they can damage our health, our relationships, and other things. But what if… the important and beautiful things in life are being tossed to the side because we’re afraid of rejection or change? It seems like if we’re not taking chances, we’re just staying right where we are.
I’m sorry, but if I stayed where I was 10 years ago because I was too afraid of how things would turn out, I would have nothing. And I’d be unhappy and lost.
And if I look back, I’ll admit there were plenty of times where I jumped head first into something I thought would make me happy only to find out it wasn’t right in the end.
But on the other hand, if I look back, I can see that giving my whole heart was the only way to become the person I am now.
Sure, we want to have options. We want to protect ourselves from danger and pain. Of course we need to be smart, and good to ourselves.
But if we want something, then give it the best we can, and it doesn’t work out… at least we know that we gave it our best. If we do our best and it still doesn’t work out, we can be confident that it just wasn’t a part of the plan.
Okay, yeah. I get it. Easier said than done, right? Just hear me out for a second.
One of my friends showed me this quote the other day…
“One day we will feel joy as exquisite as our pain.”
Maybe the pain or disappointment we feel right now is just going to help us appreciate the joy that’s waiting for us that much more.
But we won’t feel it unless we move forward, open the next door and chase after what’s ahead. We won’t even notice a difference unless we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, work hard, and try.
So here I am, feeling fully prepared, fully invested and totally vulnerable. Honestly, I’m still pretty terrified at what’s going to happen. But I have no regrets. I feel completely confident that I have done the best that I can. So whatever the outcome, if this door has to close I’m ready to run through the next one.
If this doesn’t work out, I will walk away with the same skills and abilities I had before. If this doesn’t work out, I will walk away with the same experiences and relationships I had before. If this doesn’t work out, I will walk away knowing that thankfully, the wrong decision was made for me and that I’m still on the right path.
Let me mention one last thing.
As I’ve lived through heartache, disappointment, and change… one thing has been sure…
Every experience has helped me to realize the good things that are right in front of me.
So no matter what happens, stand tall and be grateful. Lean on the ones around you to remind you how valuable you are. Do the things that make you feel confident and happy.
For once, overwhelm your mind with the things that are going right.
Trust that every disappointment will lead to greater happiness. Because you deserve it.
I promise, it really will be okay.
All my love,